What I really want to say is that the yard looks great
but nobody is around because it’s midday and I thought of edging
but that would take too long, I got things to do.
What I really want to say is my whole life
to anyone, to ask for help
with the little things
the dishwasher
pairing singular socks
walking the dog
cleaning
picking up, etcetera.
What I really want to say is it’s not easy watching your soccer stud son
collide with another player on the field
and you know immediately
it’s not good
because his head isn’t moving
and his body’s not moving
and your old friend helplessness
is also looking down on him
in that huddle of players and coaches
saying, “What a shame.”
Another ER visit
more x-rays and MRIs
more helping him move
more watching him in pain
I can’t remove.
I want to say that I’m tired of holding this up
that I can’t with my arms
so I turn away and let it rest on my back
but mostly on the high of my neck and it pushes me down
and I thought there would be others
to hear me, others who would be close
but they don’t get my not asking
is how I ask
and that is why everything
the dishes
the laundry
the yard
the children
the sometimes unkept house
are falling at my feet and I’m plumb tired
tuckered out.
What I really want to say is that, yes,
a single dad can be weak,
muscle and stoicism,
despite an “I got this,” attitude
I don’t.
Complaints stay sealed
I refuse to take the hands from others
men from wives
wives from families
that’s all, that’s all I wanted to say.
The featured image, “Microphone” by Evan Forester is made available via Creative Commons License CC BY 2.0. The image has not been changed.
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